It's a new year. I decided to share more writing again from my journals like I did in 2022. If you are familiar with part of my story, you know the struggles with fatigue began at thirteen. I didn't understand why my body felt weak or if I would recover. Days turned to weeks, months, of no answers. Though I slowly started functioning again, the fatigue never left. I didn't write a journal entry during that part of my life. But, years later, I wrote a reflection based on those months.
Looking back, I see a young girl scared for the future. I didn't know that lying down because of fatigue would become something familiar and normal as I grew older. As you are reading this journal entry, I hope you see through my eyes how I felt during those long months. While I push through the weakness on most days, there are still days I have to lie down and do nothing but rest.
“A Teenager Longing To Recover" by Katerina.
(November, 2022)
"My thirteen-year-old eyes looked through the window next to my bed. The neighbor's house had a string of Christmas lights that hung nicely. I opened the blinds to see the bright colored lights that reminded me there was hope even though I could barely move most days. The fatigue deprived my body of energy, something I had never experienced before.
The constant fatigue started in the fall. My body was weak and tired. I didn’t know why I felt that way. I didn’t know why brushing my hair or getting ready took so much strength. Those long days turned to months of barely leaving my home. There were no answers from the doctors and tests. No one understood. And the only relief I found was lying down on my comfortable bed and looking through the window.
I longed for strength and healing. I prayed and asked God to help me to get better. I missed being healthy, dancing, and spending time with friends. Only in those months, I didn't know the fatigue would continue and was just the beginning of the pain I endured."
Inspirational Songs:
The Window - Alisa Turner
Worn - Tenth Avenue North
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