When I walked into the classroom, I felt nervous. And when I met the other speakers, I didn't think I belonged. They spoke with confidence. I stumbled on my words. I started to think that maybe I should have said no.
Last fall, I received an email from one of the professors I had during my undergrad. During one of my semesters, a friend convinced me to take an education class with her and thought it was outside of my major, this class ended up being one of my favorites.
This professor also was there for me as I was finishing my junior year using an electric wheelchair. It wasn't easy at first as I found that others did not know what to say when they saw me use a mobility device. This made me feel ignored and alone in my classes. So after approaching this professor about it, I ended up speaking in front of the whole class about my chronic pain and limitations because of my CMT. I wouldn’t have had the courage if it wasn’t for her encouragement and support.
As I read through the email, she asked if I would be interested in being a guest speaker on a panel for one of her education classes. The panel was on invisible struggles students face. My focus would be on chronic illness and disabilities. It didn't take me long to accept. I prayed about an opportunity like this and even reached out to some of my professors over the summer. I didn't realize that I would be asked so soon. This was also a unique opportunity as it would be for college students who are studying to become future teachers.
But as the day approached, I started questioning my decision. I knew a little about the other speakers. They were young women that already completed their education and had been working in their field for a while. I barely graduated with my bachelor's in psychology. I'm far from entering my dream field.
I then realized that in order for me to get past the doubts I had, I needed a friend there for moral support. God answered my prayer through my friend Sara. If you have been reading my blog for a while or are familiar with the Diamonds Conference, you will have heard of Sara. She is also in her twenties and, like me, has health challenges but is also passionate about speaking. Having a friend there is what I needed to do well.
During the panel, I spoke on accommodations and accessibility in a classroom. I touched on the importance of believing when a child shares about the pain or other symptoms they have. The teacher might be the only trusted adult the child shares about the concern. As I shared, I noticed the group of students listening. There was even one young woman who shared about the health challenges she has and later I heard that many of the students were impacted that day by what was shared.
I think back to when I was a student. I would hear testimonies from guest speakers and be encouraged. I might not necessarily remember everything they shared, but I would be impacted in some way. They spoke with their heart, not hiding away from the pain they went through or experienced. And as someone living with an invisible illness, it's what has stuck with me the most.
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